Family Life.

This blog is on the little sadder side.... These past few months have been very emotional & my mind has been overwhelmed like never before & hopefully this blog will explain why

Well, I wanted to share my life story, not for people to feel bad for meor my family, but to see how God was in every moment of it.

For starters at the age of 3 or 4 my mom walked out on my family because drugs were more important to her & she would/will only come try to play "mom" when she pleases or when it's convenient for her. It never effected me much until a few months ago when my heart started breaking for her. not for me & my sister. We have been fine without her. God has been incredibly gracious on us by being a mom when we needed one & not to mention giving us the best dad anyone could ever ask for. but, for her my heart breaks because I know she's lost, doesn't know Jesus & See's nothing wrong with it. she sees nothing wrong with drugs, & not being a mom, & not caring for her children.. & it's sad. but, what has always hurt the most was watching my dad have to do it all alone. I mean i know he has never been alone because Jesus has been right beside him, & so has my family but still having to take care of my sister, my brother & I as a single parent isn't easy. I know it's always has been hard on him even when he wouldn't show it. I don't pray for my mom as often as I should & there is no excuse for it, at times have lost hope for her. I even argued with the fact that she saw her mom die, & her own son die & she still had no change of heart. But God is always convicting me with the fact that He is able to change her heart & draw her towards Him &, that it's not too late for her. I shouldn't give up on praying for her. 'cause prayer is such a powerful thing & i guess I sometimes forget that. I love my mom more than she'll ever know & all I want for her is to love Jesus & to be in Heaven for eternity. So from now on i won't give up on praying for her. because I know my God is able.

What some of you don't know is that I have a brother & all tho he's not here with us anymore & is home with Jesus, he is still to this day the most amazing person I have & will ever know. His name was David & he definitely has conquered some Goliaths in his life. He was born prematurely, & was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was only 3 days old. The doctors were convinced he wouldn't live to see the age 16. throughout my brothers life he had to have 28 surgeries & had to be confined to a wheelchair. He couldn't talk, but had the greatest laugh you would have ever heard. it never failed to put a smile on my or anyone's face, not to mention his smile, it was the best, & he smiled 95% of his life so i got to see it all the time. all tho he couldn't do much he still impacted mine & my families life more than we could have ever imagined. You could see the Love of Jesus in his life & because of that people came to know the Lord because of him. He lived to be 17 years old, & two weeks after his 17Th birthday Jesus took him home to be with Him. That was definitely the hardest time of my family's life, I lost my best friend & my dad lost his favorite son. But God was more than faithful to use that time to bring my family closer together & to bring Himself glory. I know for my whole family we clung to Jesus like never before. because only through Him was he gonna get my family through this hard time. I love my brother & I sometimes wish I could have been selfish and kept him here longer because I miss him so much, & i miss talking to him because he was the best listener, & I miss hugging him! I know one day I will get to see him again.

It took a lot for me to write this blog out. & I hope you read this not feeling bad for me or my family but instead knowing that God has been with us every step of the way. I don't know where me or my family would be without Him. He has been so good too us. all I have to say is my God is Greater.

in the words of Albert Einstein.

"Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.
Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.
The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but ever too far to feel the love within your being.
To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.
There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life:

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. no past so bitter that love cannot accept.

And no love so little that we cannot start all over with."