Well, I wanted to share my life story, not for people to feel bad for meor my family, but to see how God was in every moment of it.
For starters at the age of 3 or 4 my mom walked out on my family because drugs were more important to her & she would/will only come try to play "mom" when she pleases or when it's convenient for her. It never effected me much until a few months ago when my heart started breaking for her. not for me & my sister. We have been fine without her. God has been incredibly gracious on us by being a mom when we needed one & not to mention giving us the best dad anyone could ever ask for. but, for her my heart breaks because I know she's lost, doesn't know Jesus & See's nothing wrong with it. she sees nothing wrong with drugs, & not being a mom, & not caring for her children.. & it's sad. but, what has always hurt the most was watching my dad have to do it all alone. I mean i know he has never been alone because Jesus has been right beside him, & so has my family but still having to take care of my sister, my brother & I as a single parent isn't easy. I know it's always has been hard on him even when he wouldn't show it. I don't pray for my mom as often as I should & there is no excuse for it, at times have lost hope for her. I even argued with the fact that she saw her mom die, & her own son die & she still had no change of heart. But God is always convicting me with the fact that He is able to change her heart & draw her towards Him &, that it's not too late for her. I shouldn't give up on praying for her. 'cause prayer is such a powerful thing & i guess I sometimes forget that. I love my mom more than she'll ever know & all I want for her is to love Jesus & to be in Heaven for eternity. So from now on i won't give up on praying for her. because I know my God is able.
What some of you don't know is that I have a brother & all tho he's not here with us anymore & is home with Jesus, he is still to this day the most amazing person I have & will ever know. His name was David & he definitely has conquered some Goliaths in his life. He was born prematurely, & was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was only 3 days old. The doctors were convinced he wouldn't live to see the age 16. throughout my brothers life he had to have 28 surgeries & had to be confined to a wheelchair. He couldn't talk, but had the greatest laugh you would have ever heard. it never failed to put a smile on my or anyone's face, not to mention his smile, it was the best, & he smiled 95% of his life so i got to see it all the time. all tho he couldn't do much he still impacted mine & my families life more than we could have ever imagined. You could see the Love of Jesus in his life & because of that people came to know the Lord because of him. He lived to be 17 years old, & two weeks after his 17Th birthday Jesus took him home to be with Him. That was definitely the hardest time of my family's life, I lost my best friend & my dad lost his favorite son. But God was more than faithful to use that time to bring my family closer together & to bring Himself glory. I know for my whole family we clung to Jesus like never before. because only through Him was he gonna get my family through this hard time. I love my brother & I sometimes wish I could have been selfish and kept him here longer because I miss him so much, & i miss talking to him because he was the best listener, & I miss hugging him! I know one day I will get to see him again.
It took a lot for me to write this blog out. & I hope you read this not feeling bad for me or my family but instead knowing that God has been with us every step of the way. I don't know where me or my family would be without Him. He has been so good too us. all I have to say is my God is Greater.
1 comment:
sorry for all the miss spells. I didn't really do a read through till after i posted it. oooops.
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