encouragement.

You know those mornings when you wake up & feel very discouraged?

Well this morning was definitely one of those mornings.

I woke up feeling overwhelmed and very discouraged. I felt as if my mind was gonna explode. it was awful. it even caused me to be a little hesitant to read my bible, but none the less I did, and it was probably the most encouraging time of reading. All tho I was hesitant this morning to spend time in my bible, God was not hesitant to pour out His love & encouragement upon me. which caused me to wanna write this blog.

We all have mornings, days, months of feeling over whelmed and discouraged. And i know for me on those days I just wanna throw my arms up in the air and say "I give up" or just sulk in my emotions or even not spend time with my Jesus. But those are time I need to the most.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." -Matthew 11:28-29

we even see in the Bible that God isn't a God of discouragement. He is a God of encouragement. He wants for us to come to him when we are discouraged.

He will be faithful to encourage and be all that we need.

friendships

God brings people in your life to uplift you, to make you wanna love Jesus more. people who make you laugh, who are there to be a shoulder to cry on. ones who will do anything just make sure you are smiling. those people are called friends. & I am beginning to think that our generation has lost sight of what it really means to be a friend.

Our generation is a "feeling" based generation. What I mean is we often go for the "what feels good for me" kind of routine. really the selfish routine. It often even spills out into our friendships & it goes along the lines of a thing I like to call "convenient friendship" A convenient friendship shouldn't even be labeled as a friendship. it's where someone puts people on an emotional roller coaster going back n forth deciding if they wanna be your "friend" one day the are the next your not & it goes on and on & you never know what you are gonna get each day. You often have to walk on thin ice with these people & have to wait for them to come to you. it's awful, & often at times hurts the people around them. Our generation is becoming more like this. it seems like it's harder for people to keep friendships. I can't exclude myself from this. I am one of them. it's hard for me to get close to people & for me to stay close & to fully let my guard down. I have a mind set of of "once I get close they're just gonna leave." I've always had this mindset, but a part of it is my fault. I'm not so bad at it anymore, but i have/had a tendency of when I would get close to someone I would find a way to push them out of my life, before they "decide" to leave. I have been learning not to do that. thankfully God has been so faithful to put amazing people into my life that don't let me.

The examples that I used are not how God would want us to be like. None of ourfriendships should ever be like that. God says in friendships we should LOVE at all times. ( ¹⁷ A friend loves at all times.... Proverbs 17:17) not when we feel like it. friendships can't/won't work like that. I know friendships aren't always the easiest but the best friendships are the ones that have gone through the fire & have come out stronger. ones who stick together when things are tough.

Also, in arguments, or even if someone has offended you, you go to that person & tell them get it resolved the bible even talks about the importance of it.(¹⁵ “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. -Matthew 18:15 ) you should always get things resolved, or try to get them resolved. friendshipsare worth more than letting petty little things end them. it's not right, & sadly it does happen. But if you care enough about them, fix it. Friendships are a gift from God. we should cherish & value them more then we do. I am so very guilty of that. Because I know I don't give my friends enough credit. God has totally blessed me with incredible friends. I couldn't have asked for better some we aren't as close as we use to be but none the less I am still so very thankful for them & how they still show they care even when I fail to do the same. I know I don't deserve my friends but I am so very thankful. they're the kind of friends who don't let petty little things get to them, ones who encourage me to be more like Jesus. Ones who make sure I'm okay when I'm sad. ones who will go out of their way to make me smile. Ones that are overall God given. I am one blessed girl. :)

Family Life.

This blog is on the little sadder side.... These past few months have been very emotional & my mind has been overwhelmed like never before & hopefully this blog will explain why

Well, I wanted to share my life story, not for people to feel bad for meor my family, but to see how God was in every moment of it.

For starters at the age of 3 or 4 my mom walked out on my family because drugs were more important to her & she would/will only come try to play "mom" when she pleases or when it's convenient for her. It never effected me much until a few months ago when my heart started breaking for her. not for me & my sister. We have been fine without her. God has been incredibly gracious on us by being a mom when we needed one & not to mention giving us the best dad anyone could ever ask for. but, for her my heart breaks because I know she's lost, doesn't know Jesus & See's nothing wrong with it. she sees nothing wrong with drugs, & not being a mom, & not caring for her children.. & it's sad. but, what has always hurt the most was watching my dad have to do it all alone. I mean i know he has never been alone because Jesus has been right beside him, & so has my family but still having to take care of my sister, my brother & I as a single parent isn't easy. I know it's always has been hard on him even when he wouldn't show it. I don't pray for my mom as often as I should & there is no excuse for it, at times have lost hope for her. I even argued with the fact that she saw her mom die, & her own son die & she still had no change of heart. But God is always convicting me with the fact that He is able to change her heart & draw her towards Him &, that it's not too late for her. I shouldn't give up on praying for her. 'cause prayer is such a powerful thing & i guess I sometimes forget that. I love my mom more than she'll ever know & all I want for her is to love Jesus & to be in Heaven for eternity. So from now on i won't give up on praying for her. because I know my God is able.

What some of you don't know is that I have a brother & all tho he's not here with us anymore & is home with Jesus, he is still to this day the most amazing person I have & will ever know. His name was David & he definitely has conquered some Goliaths in his life. He was born prematurely, & was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was only 3 days old. The doctors were convinced he wouldn't live to see the age 16. throughout my brothers life he had to have 28 surgeries & had to be confined to a wheelchair. He couldn't talk, but had the greatest laugh you would have ever heard. it never failed to put a smile on my or anyone's face, not to mention his smile, it was the best, & he smiled 95% of his life so i got to see it all the time. all tho he couldn't do much he still impacted mine & my families life more than we could have ever imagined. You could see the Love of Jesus in his life & because of that people came to know the Lord because of him. He lived to be 17 years old, & two weeks after his 17Th birthday Jesus took him home to be with Him. That was definitely the hardest time of my family's life, I lost my best friend & my dad lost his favorite son. But God was more than faithful to use that time to bring my family closer together & to bring Himself glory. I know for my whole family we clung to Jesus like never before. because only through Him was he gonna get my family through this hard time. I love my brother & I sometimes wish I could have been selfish and kept him here longer because I miss him so much, & i miss talking to him because he was the best listener, & I miss hugging him! I know one day I will get to see him again.

It took a lot for me to write this blog out. & I hope you read this not feeling bad for me or my family but instead knowing that God has been with us every step of the way. I don't know where me or my family would be without Him. He has been so good too us. all I have to say is my God is Greater.

in the words of Albert Einstein.

"Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.
Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.
The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but ever too far to feel the love within your being.
To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.
There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life:

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. no past so bitter that love cannot accept.

And no love so little that we cannot start all over with."

what it means to be beautiful

So, I thought I would write a blog about beauty because it's been coming up a lot lately and lets face it everyone has or is struggling with it.. Doesn't matter who are.. We have all had our moments in life when we didn't feel beautiful, & felt insecure.. It's life, & it's normal.. So, I wanna share what I think true beauty is, well hope you enjoy :)

Beauty,

think about it, What does beauty mean to you as a person?

Does it mean you have to look a certain way? Dress a certain way?

Act a certain way? The list could go on & on.. For me as a person I have never really understood the true definition of beautiful. For the longest time I thought it was about outward appearances, and what the fashion trend was, and how your makeup was done. well a couple years ago my eyes were open to how God sees beauty, and the true definition. It's not about the outward, it's about your heart, when you're seeking after Jesus, & are loving towards others, your true beauty shines through, when you have inner beauty, your outward beauty is magnified, or at least I think that. you could be such a beautiful girl but if you have a bad attitude or you are rude, then to me you're not beautiful. you're just a pretty face, which one day it will be gone. Inner beauty is what God is looking for... I think 1 Peter 3:3-4 says it well,

^"3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

Amazing huh?? It's so true... all tho this world puts soooo much pressure on us girls to look a certain way, or dress a certain way in order to be "BEAUTIFUL" in their eyes... When in reality, we will never be able to reach the expectations that the world has brought upon us. Either we are too skinny, too fat, we don't dress a certain way... I'm sorry no one looks like the girls on the magazine, and most of the girls on the magazine don't even look like that. It's a thing called photo shop. So don't fret over trying to look like them, you are beautiful just the way you are. God says so. I wanna share a verse I am always encouraged by, for when I feel insecure it's Proverbs 31:30

^"30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."

this verse basically gives me goose bumps every time I read it, its amazing... Loving & fearing God makes you beautiful woman... God has formed & made each & everyone of us uniquely different.. He made you & I the way He wanted us to look.. It was His perfect will.. & to Him you are the most beautiful person, & you don't need the world or anyone to tell you that!! God already has by making you the way you are.. I love how Bethany Dillion's song "beautiful" tells of how God makes us beautiful..

"You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful"

It leaves me speechless.. I love to listen to it while getting ready, cause if my makeup or hair, or outfit isn't turning out the way i planned it to be, and before I can start getting frustrated I am reminded that I am beautiful by just being content in the way God made me.

To whom it may concern

this one may be a little depressing, I'm not a depressed person, I am very happy but sometimes I do get sad, & sulk in my emotions.... just like tonight.. I seem to always feel better after I write my thoughts down. I also feel like I could write my thoughts down here cause in reality no one reads these.... right? Here I go...

I have many fears, but one of my main ones is that I am gonna have doubts for the rest of my life when it comes to love & choosing to marry someone, I fear that I won't be able to over come that.. I was so sure once in my life. But that was changed. for obvious & good reasons. Or I should say God reasons. I'm still so young, & have my life to look forward too. But I can't help to have marriage on my brain. (what girl doesn't) I'm not looking for a husband, I just have marriage on the brain. The way I look at marriage probably isn't the way most people do. I have set my standards higher then ever, & it's gonna take a lot for me to consider a guy. I sometimes think my expectations are too high, but I am by no means a desperate girl so I won't be lowering them for anyone. So another one of my fears is that no one is gonna ever be able to reach them.. I know God has a perfect man for me. but I sometimes I can't grasp the thoughts of it. like someone is actually gonna be able to LOVE me for who I am?? That's crazy talk to me. Yet I am reminded that God did create me who He wanted me to be, & I can't argue with that. Psalms 139:13-18 word it perfectly:

^"13For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I would count them, they are more than^(X) the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you"

So, there is is. I may be weird, I may be awkward, I may be too quiet, I may be too loud. I maybe too shy, or I may be too outspoken. But whatever it is, I am not "too" anything to Jesus, I am just perfect. & hopefully one day a guy will see that in me too. But for now Jesus thinking of me in that way is just enough. I am so grateful to have a God who loves me with an everlasting love. it will never grow cold & He will never fall out of love with me. so I end with this verse as a promise to everyone of us, God has someone perfect, they may not come tomorrow, or this year but God is not too slow to bring them, hold on to this verse, He will bring someone :) :

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you.....” 2 Peter 3:9

called to be pure not innocent.

So as I was reading today & I came across this quote, it hit straight to the heart. This quote has summed up my thoughts that I have been having for the past month. it's incredible. So i thought I would share:

"Jesus Christ never trusted human nature, yet He was never cynical, never suspicious, because He trusted absolutely in what He could do for human nature. The pure man or woman, not the innocent, is the safeguarded man or woman. You are never safe with an innocent man or woman. Men and women have no business to be innocent; God demands that they be pure and virtuous. Innocence is the characteristic of a child; it is a blameworthy thing for a man or woman not to be reconciled to the fact of sin." -Oswald Chambers